The Terrible Princess and Her Tale is the story to find the princess who disappeared.
Our story begins with a dreadful King,
None of his laws ever had any logic.
“Tuesday?” he scoffed, “There’s no such day, and I won’t entertain any talk of it as long as I’m the king.”
From then on, in the kingdom, Monday was followed by a second Monday or a first Wednesday.
His daughter was a terrible Princess.
Despite receiving daily lessons, she needed to conform to the traditional princess manners.
She never bothered to brush her hair.
She had an odor of bananas that had been sitting for a month and was quite mischievous.
She even sets traps throughout the story.
One day, the Princess disappeared.
In her absence, a note was left behind that read:
“I’ve taken the Princess. You’ll never catch me.”After reading the note twice to grasp its meaning fully, the King ordered the greatest hero in the land to find his daughter.
The greatest hero in the land happened to be a terrible hero.
He was often too frightened to venture outside his home, and butterflies also scared him.
However, he had once triumphed over two caterpillars and a moth in a single battle, making him the greatest of all the heroes in the land.
The hero rode to the castle of the meanest villain in the kingdom, but the villain, too, was terrible.
He regularly brought flowers to elderly ladies.
Out of the goodness of his heart, he once constructed a house for someone in need.
The hero stormed through the gate and charged into the dungeon of the villain’s castle.
“Surrender the Princess!” he shouted, trembling in his Armor.
“I don’t have a Princess,” said the villain. “I use this dungeon to bake cookies, but be careful; there’s a leak here.”
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The hero needed some clarity.
“If you didn’t take the Princess, then who did?” the hero inquired. “Let’s go ask the dragon for his opinion.”
Now, mind you, this was a terrible dragon.
He was renowned for being neat and wise, not fierce like dragons are expected to be.
He brushed his teeth every night, and when he exhaled, there was no fire, just a minty freshness.
The dragon was greatly distressed when they found him.
“Someone has stolen my gold, and they left this note behind!” he cried.
The note read:
“Your gold is with the Princess! Now it belongs to me!”
“This is peculiar,” said the hero.
“Very peculiar,” added the villain.
“phimp,” muttered the dragon, who always flossed his teeth when upset.
“Perhaps the Queen knows something,” suggested the hero.
When they arrived, the Queen was rushing about the castle.
She was better.
“My treasures have vanished,” she exclaimed. “My books, jewels, and fine silk have all been taken.”
“Someone took them and left behind this dreadful note.”
The note read:
“Your treasure is mine! Don’t bother trying to find it.”
“Whoever took your treasure must have the Princess,” the hero deduced.
“Here, have some flowers,” the villain offered.
“Look!” the dragon exclaimed, “There are dirt footprints on the floor.”
They followed the footprints up to the tallest tower in the highest part of the castle.
Upon peering inside, they discovered that all the gold, books, jewels, and silk were covered in dirt.
And sitting on a throne atop the pile was the Princess.
“Why did you steal these things and make us search for you?” the Queen inquired.
“I didn’t want to attend my writing lessons!” the Princess confessed. “Who needs writing anyway?”
“You do,” the Queen replied. The villain, hero, and dragon all nodded in agreement.
The Queen made the Princess return what she had taken and apologize.
From that day on, the King insisted that the Princess attend her lessons six days a week.
Initially, she was a terrible student, but she improved each day.
It took the dragon hours to brush off all the dirt from his coins.
The villain developed a liking for soft cookies, and he baked them regularly.
The hero finally decided it was time to face a butterfly… and lost.
As for the Queen, she insisted that the entire terrible tale be written inside one of her muddy books.
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